And so...

I have neglected a lot. Forgot to actually feel and remember… So today I started to remember and this is what I wrote.

Where to…

I drove around

Looking for a place to remember you best

I went to a park

You never went there with me

But I know you liked parks

I couldn’t find any shade to park under

So I drove away

I found another park

You never went there with me

But I know you liked parks

There was a tree

I parked under that tree

I rolled down my windows

And let the warm breeze pass through

I drove around

Looking for where I might remember you best

When I was a little girl

You took me to the lake

Once or twice

When I was a teenager

You took me on a hike

Once or twice

When I was an adult we talked about the time missed

And how we would make up for lost time

I drove around

Looking for where I might remember you best

There was no shade

There was no lake

There was no park

There was no grave

Where I find you best

Is not a physical place

I suppose someone was right when they said you will live forever in our hearts

But there are those days when I wish

I could go for a drive

And find a place

Where I remember you best  

Listening to 

Sparrow by Scatteredtree (by video beautiful song)

Slammed

Slammed 

Colleen Hoover

Can a book render your thoughts "speechless"?

3 months after my dad passed away of cancer, I picked up Amy and Roger's Epic Detour (Morgan Matson).

4 months after my dad passed away of cancer, I picked up If I Stay and Where She Went (Gayle Forman).

and now nearly 5 months after my dad passed away of cancer, I pick up Slammed.

Each of these books taught me a little bit about grief and love and acceptance and... Anger.

Colleen Hoover, you took a band that not many people are familiar with ... A band which I love... you took poetry... you took death... real death that I have personally experienced... and you somehow, between the covers, allowed the reader to accept life... or at least think that perhaps life is worth pushing the boundaries. After all that’s what their there for.   

I have never actually read a novel where my chest begins to tighten and I can’t breathe. I hated the feeling yet I welcomed it as best I could.

The poetry, humor, and love that is in this book -- -I just can't really explain it.

So there is my review... this book just made it to the top. This is the best book I have read --- ever. There I said it. So do me a small one, if you read it and don't like it... don't tell me about your opinion because I might punch you in the face. Sorry... that's just what happens when an author - somehow- some way- expresses those deep emotions that you never let anyone know about. I know it's only 8 in the morning but I need a shot of whiskey and a good cry. Peace out.

Before I leave ---

For the past 5 months I have replayed the following song in my head over and over again…

It’s written by Rocky Votolato and titled 20 Degrees

The statues and concrete headstones
never taught you how to stop being alone,
even with so many real people standing around.
you're crossing the dotted yellow line
as the headlights are brightening up your eyes.
the time for hesitation and second thoughts is gone.

and there's only one way left to do this.
you're the spent wood's last ashes 
near the bottom of the fire.
and every time I dive inside 
your salty sea of misery,
you can't hide 
the only thing keeping me alive.

just wish I could've been there to protect you
from everything that happened:
your daddy dying slowly
and your mama leaving faster.
but I know all the shit that broke you
is what keeps our bodies pressed together.
you said, "20 degrees this friday, but california's burning."

and there's only one way left to do this.
you're the spent wood's last ashes 
near the bottom of the fire.
every time I dive inside 
your salty sea of misery,
you can't hide 
the only thing keeping me alive

Rocky Votolato - Portland Is Leaving (acoustic)

So long sweet summer and HELLO Gabe!

Wrong Bed, Right Guy

5 very worthy stars! 

Well --- So long sweet, hot, and steamy summer--- To end my wonderful summer, I filled my time with a fabulous little story about Elle and Gabe!

Thank you Darkfallen for the recommendation! It was well worth it! And thank you- of course- Katee Roberts for writing a fantastic contemporary romance novel!

Here we go! This story grabbed my attention immediately! Within the first few pages we were introduced to Elle who is attempting to seduce her boss Nathan, and boy oh boy, does everything go to hell in a hand basket! This book had limited bullshit. The author did a fabulous job of not pissing me off. As of late I have had a difficult time dealing with stupid females and Elle, although she had her moments, never dwelled too long on her own stupidity.

No ridiculous love triangles! And although there were secondary characters, such as, Nathan (Gabe’s brother and Elle’s boss) and Roxanne (Elle’s bff), the story was all about Elle letting go and Gabe becoming the man he has always wanted to be.

Hot – Steamy – and yes there is actually a storyline! Beyond that --- I laughed so hard!!!!! The humor is this book is amazin! I want more! I am not going to lie … I need more--- I need to know what happens next and YOU need to know what happens first… So, go ahead --- buy the book and love it as much as I did…

Ughh--- Gabe… Nuff said.

Review --- Pushing the Limits! FAV!

Pushing the Limits (5 STARS)

Katie McGarry

Holy Crow! This book! Hands down one of the best novels I have read all summer! And I have read a lot of fantasticness!

Katie McGarry flip-flops between Noah and Echo’s POV --- both characters are in their senior year and have experienced more than a lifetimes worth of tragedies. Yes, this novel is a bit of a downer at times, but you will be pleased to know--- no messy love triangles and stupid ridiculousness amounting in loads of angst and sleepless nights (unless of course you are in to that-nbd-still a rad novel). Unlike any YA contemporary novel I have read, extremely creative and It pulls on those little heart threads.  

I was slightly apprehensive when I saw this book because it was written in a similar format to Perfect Chemistry (Elkeles).  And although, I liked Perfect Chemistry a lot --- I found it difficult to really get to know the characters.

This was not the case with Pushing the Limits. In a short amount of time I began to understand Echo and Noah’s intentions, reservations, and fears.

I found myself taking breaks not because I was bored but because I needed to come up for air.

Good amounts of sweet ya romance --- nothing to write home about. But this novel was bursting at the seams with other goodies that I didn’t even find myself missing the swooning bedroom drama.

So bottom-line --- if you are into some ya-coming of age-depressing yet refreshing stuff --- read this wonderful novel!    

Review --- Crash

Crash

Nicole Williams 

(EBOOK)

Here it goes.

This novel was fine. It bordered a typical bad boy love story and a confused jumble of random drama. Some readers were comparing Crash to Beautiful Disaster – and for the record, I completely disagree. Jude Ryder, in my opinion, does not rival Travis Maddox in the slightest. Travis Maddox --- you are my fav.

Lucy and Jude meet one summer and it is made clear that Jude is not boyfriend material--- blah, blah, blah Lucy changes Jude, he falls for her, she falls for him, but as the story goes secrets that both are holding onto break them apart.

The drama in this story was not so much realistic… Which is a funny statement coming for a girl who reads completely unrealistic books --- But it wasn’t even that so much that made me just think this book was “fine” it was that the writing became confused. I would read a sentence over and over again and still not have any idea what was going on.

So – predictable, cute, unrealistic high school drama love story --- It’s not great and it’s not horrible it’s just there.  

Review --- Avoiding Commitment

K.A. Linde

4.5 stars! 

Contemporary Romance

Well that was just epic ---

Lexi and Jack are just an absolute disaster but I can’t say I blame them too much.

So for starters --- obviously this book is for a mature audience… So don’t read it if you are easily offended.

Lexi meets Jack her first year of college… He is absurdly hot and hanging out with him is extremely easy and comfortable. The first month they meet, they hang out all the time… It is magical ;) But then our darling Jack confesses he has a girlfriend back home even though everything inside him wants Lexi in his life… He can’t end his relationship. Lexi, having a sense of self-preservation, leaves him in his apartment, walking out of his life, and asking him one favor is return for the month of lies --- that he never lie to her again.

Even though Lexi walks out she cannot shake him from her life.

Avoiding Commitment bounces between the past and the present. Although vague at the beginning, by the end of the novel your heartaches for these two characters and how much they have royally messed up.

Lexi is constantly trying to fight her feelings for Jack, but she would give into him every time no matter whom he was currently dating. We see of the lies and lack of commitment towards one another chaning them and in many ways breaking them apart.

It can be difficult to read novels like this when you have had a past with cheating, but the author tells an amazing story highlighting both parties. You eventually see how cheating and dishonesty, although, it may hurt the people indirectly involve --- those truly suffering, for years, are Lexi and Jack…

I couldn’t help but fight for Lexi and Jack --- I loved Jack at times and absolutely loathe him in moments… but the fact that he was on this continually destructive path broke my heart.

Lexi was confident, sassy, and a fighter… She knew what was best but had a hell of a time fighting her overwhelming love and desire for Jack …

Great supporting characters in this story --- Chyna (loving, amazing, bff), Ramsey (ummm, still not sure --- but you seem alright), Bekah (ughh --- seriously I hate you but anyways).

Just fantastic …    

Bad-ass Book Reviews GIVEAWAY!

Shout out to Badass Book Reviews! 

I was the winner in their End of Summer Giveaway!

YAY! I am so excited ---

Check them out yo!

Cannot wait to read and review The Dreamblood series by N. K. Jemisin, The Killing Moon (Dreamblood #1) and The Shadowed Sun (Dreamblood #2)

Review --- Easy

Easy

Tammara Webber

4.5 Star

Who knew it could be so easy to LOVE this book?! I know that was slightly cheesy… I aim to please… your welcome.

This novel had SOOO much going on… Deep *sigh*. Deep. Subjects. So many deep subjects that I really wish we were able to dive a little further into some of the craziness.

Okay – So – When reading the summary of this book I was a little confused … 

It leaves much to be discovered and I want to keep it that way.

But I will tell you this…

Jacqueline follows her longtime boyfriend to the college--- Yes, and the longtime boyfriend is a dick… Period…

She’s dumped, falls into a dark pit of despair and then while leave a party one night she is attacked by one of her exs frat brother (Buck be the name)--- who is completely driven by dominance.

Lucas --- a senior at the university saves the day and kicks the shit out of Buck.

This book deals with physical and emotion scars – new and old --- peer pressure in an attempt to save face --- and people letting down walls to feel a little bit of security and love.  

Jacqueline is amazing – as Lucas puts it at one point --- she is fucking amazing.

I never once wanted to punch her in the face --- another HUGE bonus NO LOVE TRIANGLES !!! Parts were predictable but I didn’t care… I loved this novel --- Like I said it covers huge subjects and I think I needed to a bit more time with the characters… And yes, there are some very sweet and sexy moments…

Review --- The Lost Prince!

4.5 Stars! 

Expected publication: October 23rd 2012 by Harlequin Teen

The Lost Prince

Julie Kagawa 

Julie Kagawa held true to the fey and once again creative an epic adventure with a splash of romance and humor! I am a HUGE fan of the iron fey series --- and so I was super excited to read The Lost Prince.

The Lost Prince is written from Ethan’s POV and honestly in order to understand what is going on in this book and the secret moments created for the reader you must have read the iron fey series.

I didn’t expect to meet a callused and jaded young man but I suppose Ethan’s life has always been a little screwy. He is constantly being attacked and messed with by the fey in the mortal world and been blamed for their crimes. He’s lost people he has cared about and therefore has built up a huge source of angry and resentment that throughout the novel he constantly trying to keep under wraps. Ethan finds himself thrown into the one place he swore he would never return to and discovers that he has to fight a battle to save the ones he cares about.  

We meet a couple new lovey characters and one of two that I am not sure how I feel about just yet. Ash *swoons* and Puck *giggles* only made small appearances --- and I think I was a little disappointed because of that. I really love those characters and the humor factor was dropped down a couple notches due to their absence.

Ethan begins to care for a girl in this story and his battle to keep her away from him and safe reminds be a lot of Ash in the Iron King and Iron Daughter.

It seemed like I was always one step ahead of where this story was going. I kind of knew from the first few chapters who the bad guys were and their motivation. However, I am sure there will be a huge twist coming soon.

Needless to say, I love the fey and would read any book Julie ever wrote about them. Yes, I wanted my swooning, devoted, darkly love Ash and my pistol of a Puck to make a larger appearance --- but I suppose we need to make room for more characters… We always knew from the very first book that Ethan was special and I am wondering exactly how special and what is role will be in the outcome of the forgotten fey.

Love!

Review --- Effortless

With Thoughtless being S.C. Stephens’ first attempt at a full length novel, I assumed I would see growth between the debut novel and the sequel. Effortless was written in a completely different way. Now, I am not a writer so I am not going to attempt to explain this… But it was just better, more complete, less confusing. S.C. Stephens open up her vocabulary and really brought to life the entirely epic novel.

With that said, I still had issues with Kiera… She was the person I disliked the most… More than Griffin. But I suppose we are being submerged into the mind of a very broken character and allowances must be made.  

S.C. Stephens created such a genuine environment for the reader … I honestly felt like I knew Kellan and the rest of the D-Bags (which I totally hate that name with a firey passion), the girls at Pete’s… Anna (who I fell in love with!) I mean Kiera just had such an amazing group of friends and family in Effortless.

Kellan and Kiera have many, many things to work through in this novel… As Kellan goes on tour and Kiera is left in Seattle… It most certainly is heartbreaking at times, and we see how when relationships begin with lies it is all too often easier to continue the lies.

Just a word to the wise … I loved this book --- yes it was long and at times annoying but I really, really enjoyed it. With that said, this books is heavy in mature content just, like the first… maybe even a little more steamy at time… but the romance between Kellan and Kiera is just absolutely beautiful. So, if you aren’t too keen on hot and heavy --- you may want to pass…

Now…

This all begs a question --- Could there/should there be a third book? I know 

that apparently the author has promised a third book --- but Effortless ends at such a beautiful place that I am wondering if another novel is dragging the whole mess out too far --- UNLESS it is written from Kellan POV! OHMIGOD ;) That would be fantastic! 

Review --- Thoughtless

Thoughtless 

S.C. Stephens 

I 100% agree and understand why people say they have a love/hate relationship with this book!

First off, I really, really disliked Kiera…

From the start --- she was naïve and way to awkward!  She thought everything was gross or nasty or too sexy! That bothered me … if she had more of an edge to her personality we would have gotten along just fine. But it seemed to be her passion and fire was only apparent when she was with Kellan ---

She made rash and “thoughtless” decisions constantly hurting the two men in her life so badly I wanted to punch her in the face. Her insecurities also really annoyed me. LISTEN --- YOU HAVE TWO BEAUTIFUL MEN WHO WANT YOUR BODY! STOP CALLING YOURSELF PLAIN! Ughhh!

So… obviously Kiera was the hate part of my relationship with this book

Denny --- sweet? – yes – devotes? – here is when 600 pages of writing can skew ones judgment. HE LEFT HER --- remember!? For months! Only called her a few times a week --- encouraged her to go out --- TOOK A JOB WITHOUT ASKING AFTER HE ALREADY MOVED HER ACROSS THE COUNTRY! ---  SO let us not forget that Denny lovers…

Kellan – Hot and so very, very bruised. I felt horrible for him… He only tried to comfort Kiera and she took him on a ride that ended in complete heart break. I just don’t understand.

Found this on Goodreads --- I would say this is a great way to envision  our main characters :) 

This book had a very riveting plot… Some things got annoying and many words were over used like chuckled and blushing. I almost stopped reading because on one page “deeply blushing” was repeated multiple times. However, this did not stop me. The book is absolutely steamy--- hot to a new level --- and I will read the sequel even though I might literally find someone named Kiera just to punch her in the face.

One last thought --- I really need authors to describe what the characters are wearing … I know this sounds stupid --- but it’s really difficult if I can’t envision their sense of style … done and done. 

Review --- Beautiful Disaster!

Beautiful Disaster

Jamie McGuire

Jamie's Website!

5 Stars

Yep! This was just one hot mess! But in the best way possible! It was extremely refreshing to read a novel where college life wasn't glamorized, but instead gave us more truth than fantasy.

Abby – A beautiful, trouble freshmen who is in a desperate attempt to run away from her childhood. In the beginning, we are left in the dark about what Abby’s past really entails, but everything falls into place. And if there is one this for sure it is that she wants to forget who she was and make sure nobody except her best friend knows about her past. I loved this girl. She was feisty, stubborn, and in a very big way selfless.

America – Abby’s best friend who promises to be her concession and go anywhere she goes. They stick by each other’s side through this entire disaster. I would love an eccentric, outspoken friend like Mare.  

Travis – This poor boy. At times he is a complete asshole and in other moments the sweetest lost puppy you have ever seen! Now this kid is just a complete mess. Sex, drinking, and fighting are the only things on his mind, ever! He can have any girl he wants and he uses every one of them to fill a void in his life (yeah I just got all psychology 101 on ya).

Shep – Travis’s cousin and roommate --- and America’s devoted, STABLE boyfriend …

Together these 4 create a world of messy situations in which Travis and Abby are at the center of the tragedy… Because as you can already imagine --- a boy falls for a girl and they are both extremely damaged…

I loved this novel. The author never held back and I completely respect that. It was funny, shocking, romantic, infuriating… and all those things make a lovely time in my mind.  

Review --- Time Between Us

Time Between Us
Tamara Ireland Stone

4 Stars ---

Well, what do ya know?? I am a fan of time travel.

I really had no idea what to expect from this novel. I skimmed over from reviews and most everyone seemed just tickled by it…

For me, reading is an emission to another world. I crave the feeling of being lost in the characters and story line. It’s important for the author to be strong and convincing when dealing with slightly fictional plots.

I never once felt labored while reading. Tamara Ireland Stone could have been writing about caterpillars and wasps nests and I would have been eating up every word. Her words just flew off the page with such ease.

The charming characters:

Anna --- she has a lovely personality. She is determined, strong-willed, and extremely forgiving.

Emma --- Anna’s best friend --- she is British, a little off the wall… and maybe a little too oblivious for her own good. But her love for Anna is 100% apparent throughout the entire novel.

Justin --- Anna’s other best friends since they wee ones --- I wanted to know more about his character … But what I did know was he was a sweetheart and would do anything for Anna.

And then there is Bennett --- A 17 year old from 2012 (it seems so futuristic and then I realize--- Holy crap! It’s 2012!) He has a talent for time traveling. Although, over the years he has figured out there are certain rules that apply… After making a little mistake and must be undone --- Bennett has to wait it out in 1995 in Evanston, Illinois --- And what do you know? That is where he meets our lovely friends from 1995 –Anna, Emma, and Justin-

There is a bunch of sweet moments in this story. It is definitely a fast read. I loved it… The author was fabulous at creating romantic moments but when it came to the kiss --- things feel apart for me. I am a big kissy kinda girl.

Read it --- Nuff Said